Imitate the traditions of Lombok people before marriage, especially the cultural practices of the Sasak, the majority ethnic group in Lombok. Here is a clear and culturally accurate explanation of what “before marriage” typically looks like in Lombok, especially in the famous merariq (elopement) tradition.
Pre-Marriage Traditions in Lombok (Sasak Culture)
The Sasak people of Lombok have a unique set of customs before a couple marries. The famous is Merariq, often misunderstood as “kidnapping” but culturally considered a respected way to start a marriage.
Below is how you can “imitate” or understand the steps before marriage, as traditionally practiced.
Besejati / Getting to Know Each Other (imitate Lombok marriage traditions)
The couple meets secretly or privately, as open dating isn’t always traditional.
They build trust and decide they want to proceed to merariq.
Merariq (Elopement Ritual)—The signature Lombok tradition
If both agree, the woman “runs away” to the man’s family home.
It is not forced—it is planned by both sides.
Symbolism:
- Shows the bravery and seriousness of the man
- Demonstrates the woman’s willingness
- Considered honorable, not rebellious
Selabar / Notification to the Woman’s Family (imitates Lombok marriage traditions)
Within 1–3 days, the man’s family formally informs the woman’s parents that she has been “taken for marriage.”
This meeting is
- It shows respect
- It prevents conflict between families
- It begins negotiation
Negotiation of Belis (Dowry): Imitate Marriage of lombok people
Belis is a symbolic dowry, usually not excessive.
It can include:
- Gold
- Traditional fabrics (kain tenun Sasak)
- Livestock
- Or agreed-upon symbolic gifts
Amaq Kaji / Religious Guidance (imitate lombok traditions marriage)
Before the marriage ceremony, the couple receives guidance about married life from an elder or religious leader.
Nyongkolan (Traditional Parade)
This is the public celebration after the wedding:
- The couple walks in a colorful parade
- Traditional music, gendang beleq, plays.
- Both families celebrate